THE LOST CHRISTMAS TREE
IMPOSSIBLE? NOT SO MUCH
I have spent the better part of my life thinking real true success for me was just impossible. At age sixteen I peaked with the success of my local TV show and by the time it was over I was suddenly nothing. The show had remained an enormous hit through out our entire run. That was the last time I saw success. It seemed no matter how hard I tried and how much I worked at achieving my goals there was always something there to set me back a few miles. Through it all I continued the fight and deep inside had faith I would get there. Finally, after years and years, it began to happen.
I always believed, ever since I was a child, that I would be successful and reach all of my dreams. I had known since I was eight that I wanted to be a movie actor. Things changed a little over time. Along with wanting to be an actor I not only became an actor but also a writer, film producer, director, video editor, and author. I managed to stay on the path I set forth many years ago. Today I am not where I want to be but I am a lot closer. I think the best way to describe me in one word is dreamer. I dream. I dream big dreams. I set goals that seem impossible. I am in my early thirties, I should be married with kids and living life for life. Instead I remain on the road to reach my goals and dreams and will not stop until I reach them. I know what I want and I always have.
Life throws us all curve balls and many surprises. These are not always good. We then must choose how we deal with them. For me I just continued the fight even though there are many times I just want to give up. I should be a well-known successful entertainer and filmmaker by now. Instead I have made a series of micro budget films that hardly anyone as seen or knows about. Does this mean I stop? Am I chasing pipe dreams as some have suggested to me or said behind my back? I mean success is impossible. Right? Only those who are lucky actually reach their dreams. People like me stay poor and miserable and must fight with our lives to get through a day. Right? Not so much.
Over the past year I have seen things change in my favor. Some very unexpected things happened. Things I never saw coming. I had struggled every day to pay the bills. I am good with paying bills and I budget well but with a lower income I struggled. I was so worried about making sure the bills were paid that I would delay advancements in my film career. I am not so prone in taking chances that could cost me financially. So, this past year I changed that. I took chances and they are paying off. First up I released all of my low budget films directly to DVD. Now the sales for the first year have not been great but people are buying them. I will not get rich off these as the profit is very low but the fact that people I have never met from all over the world are buying my movies is a great thing in itself. After all I am an entertainer and what would I be with out an audience? Try a nut job talking to a wall. If you do internet searches of my films or my production company I appear all over. Stories I have written have made their way to various web sites. People write to me asking for my opinion on how to make it in Hollywood. People from around the world contact me regarding various things related to my work. People are actually taking me seriously! What? How is this possible? I am just some loser who is still chasing RIDICULOUS dreams that will never come true! Right? There is one thing that I had worried about my whole life that I never have to worry about again. Did I set out to do what I wanted to do? The answer is yes. I wanted my own TV show; did it. I wanted to be an actor; did it. I wanted to make a movie; did it. I wanted to write a book; did it. I did it all without having a lot of money to achieve it. Just determination and staying power.
I write this for an important reason. I write this to you who believes your dreams are unattainable and impossible. I like to challenge my self. As a person who spent his entire childhood and teen years thinking he sucked and had super low self-esteem I didn’t think I had skills in anything. I have learned that is not true. I believe we are all capable of anything. I will get compliments for something I do and will hear how they could never do what I did. I think that is a false statement. All you need to do is just do it. You may suck at first but the more you try the better you will get. I’m not some genius or anything special. Half the time I don’t even think anyone even notices me yet I feel that I can do whatever I set forth to do. I went from knowing nothing about computers and failing all of my computer classes in school to becoming close to an expert user. I can also build them from scratch. I had no special training. I just took the time to learn and was determined to reach my goal. The same can be said for many other things. I am not bragging here. I believe you can do anything if you just don’t give up . As the great Mastermind of our times, Yoda, has said "Try not. Do or do not. There is no try." How true is that. Trying means maybe you will accomplish the task whatever it may be. You may tinker around and if it seems too complicated you quit. What did you actually try? It’s like someone giving you a cookie they made. Perhaps it’s made from pig liver bits and GIRAFFE tails. So you say okay I’ll try a little. So you eat it. Did you really just try it? No actually you "did" eat it. It is the "Do" versus the "try" you didn’t try you did. That is the secret to success. Just do. Don’t try.
You may fall flat on your face but just pick yourself up and do it again and again and again until you get it right. Along the way you learn from what you are doing wrong and fix it. Then do it again. You grow each time and you get better. I don’t believe in giving up. It is not in my blood and believe me I wish I could many times. I feel sometimes that I am cursed. That if only I could give up maybe my life would be better. The truth is when you reach the goals you set forth there is no greater feeling in the world. To accomplish an impossible feat. You appreciate the goal you have reached that much more. You have more confidence in your self. Life is not easy and never will be. It doesn’t matter how rich or successful you get. There will always be bad days but those bad days won’t matter because there will be that many more good days.
Within the past year I took a few chances that have changed things for me. I went from panicking of how I was going to pay the bills to having more than enough to cover them. I just kept making things happen. No one helped me. I did it all on my own with my own crazy ideas. The very ideas many laughed at or ignored including my family. They’re not laughing now. What amazed me most, especially with regards to money, is that it’s everywhere and so accessible. There were so many times while I scraped up whatever loose change I could find I thought how hell can I get out of this? How is it that so many people can reach the point where they don’t have to do this? Once you find the fortune, if you play it smart, it’s there for your taking. It may take years and years but the hard work will pay off. The same goes for success. I mean explain Paris Hilton to me. She is successful and I ask for doing what? Perhaps she isn’t successful just well-known but some perceive her has being a success.. Now I am still not rich, not even close but I have learned that it is not impossible. Anyone could change their life. All you need to do is "DO." You will never get there by doubting yourself, by just trying, or worse giving up. How about the many stories we hear about a guy who had nothing, was living in a rat hole, and had to eat out of dumpster’s to survive. Then he comes up with some stupid crazy idea that no one except himself believes in. A year later he one the richest guys in the country and has people who cook him his dinner. It happens and more often then we think.
It’s important to recognize that money will not buy you happiness. It creates a temporary feeling of happiness. Soon that feeling dies. Same goes for success. These are only parts of a bigger package. The most important success is your family. You wife, husband, kids, and anyone else that makes up your family. Where everything else could disappear tomorrow they will always be your family. I know for me while I chase success I will always know that my family comes first. I will continue to cherish Christmas morning with the family more than a giant paycheck that creates a short lived feeling of excitement. All the money and success in world can’t buy you a family.
I conclude with this. You have all the power in the world to make things happen. That’s why we were given free will and it is up to us to take advantage of it. Life is short we have been told. The truth is life really is short. Just as I finish writing this suddenly it is ten years later and I am now reading this going " What the hell happened? How have all of these years just past by in the matter of a breath?" It really does go that fast. What is the point to waste any minute of it? All you need to do is just do it. Whatever happens after that simply happens. At least you could go to bed at night knowing you went for it. You won’t have wonder what could have been or not have been.
For me I know the new year ahead of me may just be my most successful. Things I have worked so hard at will finally pay off. If I had given up like I had wanted to my dreams would remain just that. Dreams.