I have been on the set of 17 films to date. Each film was a film I wrote, produced, directed, and was the lead actor. The most difficult part of making these films were the actors! That’s right, the actors!

Let us take a comical look at the do’s and don'ts on the set of a movie or television show. At the end of this I hope that you will be able to apply these tips and help make the set a happy place!

Always be on time. Always. There have been times when an actor or crew member decides not to show up. Not even a phone call to explain. If it is a no pay production take it as seriously as a paid job. Make sure that you never show up to a set and tell the director "I have to leave in 15 minutes". It takes 15 minutes just to set up the scene! This really happened by the way. I think the top of my head is still attached to the ceiling.

If there is a TV on the set don't turn it on and forget why you are on the set in the first place. I had a crew who discovered a TV set and parked their buts around it. Before I knew it they were more interested in the TV then in their performance. Don’t let outside things distract you. Stay focused.

Never bring a monkey to a set. Keep the monkey at home! Do you realize how difficult it is to remove monkey crap from a camera lens!

Never, and I mean never tell the director "I don’t get it!" before and after every scene! If you don’t get it then stay out of the movie. Go do another kind of work. I don’t have the time to repeat myself over and over again. The other actors don’t either. They took the time to understand the script and ask questions ahead of time. If you don’t get every scene then why are you here?

It might be a good idea not to volunteer to close window blinds in a location if you don’t know how to close blinds! It could make you look clueless, it also wastes time. This actually happened. Two of my fellow actors had no idea how to close window blinds and spent way to much time trying to figure it out. If you don’t know how to do it, leave it to someone who does.

Introduce yourself perhaps once or twice to the director. Not 15 times a day! I got you. Your name is Kent! I know. I just called you Kent. No need to tell me again. Thank you very much!

Shower, shower, shower, and shower. No one wants to smell your dirty arm pit and smelly flesh. Wash your clothes. It is so much better for all of us. Don’t pick your nose or clean your ears with your fingers while in front of everyone.

Never bring your pet mice to a set and let them loose. It is difficult to round them up especially when they start setting up the lighting and operating the camera!

Try your best to remember your lines. It really helps the scene come out so much better. I myself will try even harder to remember my lines, you do the same.

And finally have a good time. After all it’s just a movie. No one is going to die if it does not go perfectly. If we all have a good time and enjoy doing it the performances will be better and the film will be better.