THE MIKE BURKE CHRONICLES
There is a dilemma among us. A problem no
one wants to talk about.
This problem has plagued thousands of us year after year. Many of us
have tried to hide our feelings on the matter. Some spent hours trying
to hide the utter disappointment. Then there are those who most likely
ran into the nearest closet and cried their eyes out. So what am I talking
about? I am talking about Birthday cake. Yes, that’s right. Birthday cake.
You see there is a unique situation that occurs in the family, among
friends, and at some work places. A question that I’m sure has entered
many of our heads. Should I get So and So a birthday cake? Now why
is that we must ask this question? A good answer may be a preempted
strike sent by the one who’s birthday it is. I am guilty of this myself.
“Now remember, I don’t want a cake. I don’t even want the day mentioned!”
People will go out of there way to make it clear they do not want a
Cake. Are they just saying this or do they really mean it? This puts the Cake
Giver in a very difficult situation. They are left with a decision that could
end a relationship, or make it better. What to do? What to do?
Let’s look into the Cake Givers situation. Okay, so what if the Cake Giver
makes the decision to make or buy a cake for the Cake Receiver. It is the
Cake Receiver’s birthday and you present to them the cake. There is two
ways that this can go. The first is being utter happiness that not only did
you remember but you got them a cake. The other way things could go
is that they are so embarrassed, and may even feel betrayed, because they
specifically said they did not want a cake. It could result with the cake being
flung against the wall.
Now let us look at the Cake Receiver. After all it is their birthday. So they
clearly say not to make a big deal of their birthday and not to make or buy
a cake. The big question is do they really mean it? Some, maybe, but for most
I think it just comes down to not wanting to be the center of attention. They
might feel “Well it’s my birthday, but why make a big deal out of it when we
all have birthdays. After all it’s just the day I was born and why is that worth
celebrating? Hell, why a celebrate a day that marked the beginning of this
life!”
The Cake Receiver could also just be a bit humble and such a cake makes them
Feel a bit awkward.
We need to now look into the decision making on this matter. So you the Cake
Giver is told not to make or buy a cake. So you don’t. The Cake Receiver
Birthday has come. Perhaps you mumble happy birthday and go about your day.
The Cake Receiver will go about their day wondering why you didn’t give them a
Cake. Sure you told them not to but you didn’t really mean it. They should have
known that. Next thing we know the Cake Receiver is throwing the Cake Giver
against the wall. The other thing that could result, besides a few broken bones,
is
the Cake Receiver feeling unloved and unworthy because you didn’t get them a
Cake this year. This causes them to go into a great depression and eventually
leads them down a dark road until the day they are shot by police when they
raid a bakery and destroy all the cakes with an MK-47. All because you didn’t
give them a birthday cake in late summer of 1999! Good one.
It is one thing for me to point all this out but how about a solution for both
sides.
I am making it my mission, in this writing, to solve this problem that plagues
us
all. Should you give the birthday cake? The answer is YES. Give the damn cake.
If you never buy or bake a cake for someone you know don’t start now. If you
Decide to get them a cake this year for the first time (perhaps because the Cake
Receiver had a bad year) and then next year you don’t because normally you don’t
then the Cake Receiver may think “What did I do wrong? Was I not god enough for
a cake this year?” This will cause the situation mentioned above. So my answer
is don’t start now.
How about the work place. It is really the same situation above. If you never
get
That particular worker a cake, don’t. I once worked in this place where a woman
every called “Mom” (not me I have a mother and one is enough) would bake a
Cake for each person who had a birthday. I never received a cake and I was happy
about it. I didn’t want to become the center of attention. I was there to work.
I
Made sure no one knew it was my birthday. A problem that can occur is with all
those birthdays what if one year she forgets you. She remembered every one else.
Now you are left with feeling like a meaningless piece of fly crap. So in the
work
place never get some one a cake who never mentions their birthday. Most likely
they don’t want you to know. How about if every year, say fifteen, sixteen years
Everyone gets together to give someone a cake and every year that person says
they
don’t want the cake so one year they decide not to. Can you imagine how
Uncomfortable that day would be, that week! The Cake Receiver will be
Expecting the cake. They may even mention the cake they know is coming but it
never arrives. So always get the cake, don’t stop now it is too late.
How about boyfriends and girlfriends, wives and husbands? My answer is simple.
Get them the frikin’ cake!!! Better yet bake it yourself. There is no other way
to
go around this. Forget the cake and watches what happens. You may be thinking,
what about the amounts of cake you may get that day. You may get a cake from
your Mom, your spouse/ significant other, your sister, your job, your best
friend, the Mail man/ mail woman or both! That is a lot of cakes. My answer to
that is there never is to much cake.
Finally my message to the Cake Receiver. If you tell them you don’t want a cake
and then you don’t get one, stop your whining. They were only respecting your
wishes. If you do get a cake, even though you didn’t want one, be happy and
Grateful about it. You should be happy they thought of you. Of course they could
Just be motivated by the fact that they know they will get to eat yummy cake and
You are just their excuse to do so. Really, I think many say they don’t want
cake
But really they do. I mean it’s cake!
So in conclusion, make the cake, buy the cake, give the cake, be happy you got
the
Cake, and maybe, just maybe we will all be a little happier because of cake.
Unless of course you don’t want the cake and go on a killing spree because once
again your wishes were ignored but that’s another story.